I love babies. Almost as much as Jesus.

I was going to put this link in the comments of the Hitchens post - because it's still not technically about being single - but it's too brilliant to not merit its own post. Reno 911's Mary Birdsong has written an essay In Defense of the Funny Man Who Wrote the Big Article. Here's the first section - click through to read more.

I've gotten so sick of my lady friends complaining all week about that funny man who wrote the big article in Vanity Fair ("Why Women Are Not Funny") that I have to come to his aid. This guy knows comedy. I can't remember the last time I read such a hilarious critique. And so chock-full of the gut-busting comedy of Kipling! Nice. Kipling slays me. Always has. I hope other 'zines start printing articles like that in their pages. Articles like "Why Latinos Are Lazy," "Why Jews Are Cheap" and "Why Colored Folk Should Be Kept Out Of Pro Ball."

Wait one second. I'll be right back.

Sorry about that. Somebody emailed me a photo of their baby and I had to stare at it for a couple of hours. I'm totally here now. What was I saying? Oh, right. I remember…

I want to say thank you to the really funny man who wrote the big article. (I can't remember his name, but I do remember the name of my friend's really cute baby-- it's Nate.) I want to thank him for taking the weight of the laugh-starved world off my shoulders. I used to feel so guilty that I wasn't funny. Ashamed, even. But after reading that really funny man's article I now see that IT'S NOT MY FAULT! I'm just a woman. A woman who can't think of anything but babies. And sometimes religion.

Hold on one sec.

I got distracted again. I was looking at my cup of coffee and I swore I saw the face of Jesus in it. (Don’t be jealous, guys, but this shit happens to me ALL THE TIME, because like the funny man very wisely pointed out, my sex is the "rank-and-file mainstay of religion.") But this particular religious vision was a false alarm. I think the milk was just bad and it sort of curdled into what looked like my savior.

What was I saying? Was it something about babies? I love babies. Almost as much as Jesus. Oh, right! I remember.

The funny man wrote that you never hear a guy brag about his girlfriend, "…and man, does she ever make 'em laugh." And that's so true! My boyfriend is unusual 'cuz he doesn't mind if I make him laugh-- in private. But when we first dated I made the mistake of making him laugh really hard at a party in front of people and he bitch-slapped me in the car on the way home. He was totally right. Now if we're in public and I think of something funny I just write it on a post-it and tell him quietly after I say my prayers at night.

The one thing I found disappointing about that funny man's article is that the only women he interviewed were Nora Ephron and Fran Leibowitz. Everyone knows they're definitely not funny. So how can he interview them but not include women who've at least come close to being funny - I'm talking of course about sitcom legends Brooke Shields and Lea Thompson. Hello???!!? (The word "hello" should be read like a gay guy would say it. I think that's HILARIOUS when people do that.) I'm glad he didn't interview women like Sarah Silverman or Tina Fey or Amy Sedaris.

Via Wit of the Staircase